we finally got it.

our orders. 

trevor reports in to quantico ….on tuesday.  yeah- less than a week away.

we are so thrilled.  we wanted to go to quantico.  we were stationed there 6 years ago in the first four years of our marriage.  i liked the area, the base, and the feel of the area.  there are beautiful new houses now and we have kids in school.  our experience this time will be different, and hopefully wonderful.

but now- more changes.  since we just found out last night and today was veterans day (oo-rah baby!) we couldn’t talk to anyone about moving. 
we have to get on the housing list and i am not sure yet how long it will take to get a house assigned to us.  it will be a balancing act to time getting out of our lease, moving, changing schools with as little disruption as possible and trying to ease into a new life in a new community.

i am saddened too- we’ve had a lovely time with our man home.  we’ve been spoiled to have had him here every single day for the last 7 weeks!  it’s been amazing.
now we fly into warp speed and we will do what we have to do to make sure we’re together.  moving, changing our lives again and leaving the area that has become sweet to us.

please pray for my babies.  while this is a wonderful thing, i am still aware of the big changes in their lives that might cause frustration for them.  i am positive that we will be fine, and i am thrilled that we’ll still be close to our families.  but i want to make things as smooth as i possibly can for my sweet kiddos.

 

on saturday, our family was blessed with two perfect, sweet, beautiful baby girls.  this time, i’m not the mama, i’m the proud auntie. 
my brother in law noah, and his beautiful wife erin welcomed twin baby girls on saturday.  they were born at just 31 weeks gestation, but are doing so well.  i have been incredibly blessed and humbled that the two of them have welcomed me so eagerly into the lives of my sweet nieces.  they had asked me to be in the delivery room if possible with my camera in hand.  however due to the speed in which erin was progressing, me being almost 2 hours away, and the need to quickly do a c section, that became a non issue.  however, my MIL and SIL and i drove to richmond on the rainy halloween night to support our family. 

i was blown away when i found out that i was allowed into the NICU with noah to see the babies.  when they were less than 2 hours old we went to their beds and soaked in their beauty. i took hundreds of pictures through happy tears and was honored to be there to capture the first meeting of daddy, mommy and babies.  i also got to watch their grandpa, aunt and grandma see them and touch them for the first time.

hands down it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  their names are Ever and Grey and they are stunning babies- not just because i love them, but, truly they are beautiful babies!

noah and erin have been amazingly gracious with sharing their baby time. i was able to hold grey!  and have spent more hours with them this week staring in awe at their delicious adorableness. 
what a miracle these babies are. 
i am completely in love and can’t wait until i get to see them again.

(pics below- the wires and tubes might look intense, but truly, they are doing well.  one baby is off of oxygen now, both have feeding tubes for the moment, and they are attached to lots of monitors- but really, they are strong and healthy!  amazing isn’t it? )

i’ve purposely avoided blogs recently.  not because there is anything wrong with them but because i have an issue with reading blogs and leaving feeling “less than” as a mother, or wife, or friend.  i’ve been satisfied reading a tiny handful of blogs that are all connected to personal friends or family.

i used to be an avid blog reader.  i had about 20 or so blogs that i would scan through on a daily basis.  reading tidbits of life of other women and looking at their sweet, beautiful pictures depicting wonderful family activities, or powerful drama speckled with photos to pull your heartstrings right through your chest. 
i finally recognized that for me… a blog addict… it wasn’t healthy.  and so, i quit. cold turkey.  i spent my computer time on facebook, and downloading pictures, and recently with the addition of a new job!!!!! (more later, i promise)  with chatting on skype with an old friend.

but the other day?  i went back. i fell off the wagon.  i scrolled through three or four of my old haunts and read up some on what i’ve missed. 
and i walked away with the same yucky feeling. 

i can’t totally explain what it is about “mommy blog land” that knocks my socks off.  i hate that as women our competitive nature bleeds over into our mothering- but, it does.  and i succumb to it.  and i often feel badly about myself. 
but, i am also aware that in just a few short key strokes i can fill you in on all the wonderful parts of today and skip all the bumps. though there are women writing honestly, and sharing their struggles and their victories- i haven’t found many women who can balance the woman side of them with the mother side of them.

wanna know a secret? 
sometimes i get tired of  talking about sleep schedules, naps, diapers and sippy cups.  spankings, play dates, teething and childbirth.  nurseries, and chuck e cheese, preschools and homeschooling.  birthday parties, potty training, sports and bottles. 
sometimes?  i wanna talk about current events, nature, God, and politics. movies i like, things i’ve read, how much i love my husband, and music.  photography, money, college and decorating.   

and i love the balance of all of those things.
all of them are a part of me.
and not a whole lot of women bloggers do a good job of finding the balance.

so for now, while i still sit in the space of motherhood where i sometimes wonder if  i’m doing a good enough job, i will stay away from mommy blog land. 
i will revel in the good parts of my own experience.  knowing that all of us have drama, boredom, failure and disappointment mixed in with the inevitable joy, beauty and fun.
i will stay true to myself without comparing my family to others. without sitting in the negative and life sucking place of questioning our lifestyle… knowing God gave me my four babies to love, raise and protect.  and i will celebrate that.

so… thanks for being here. and listening in to my neuroses. 
i’m growing.  and it’s good stuff.
as long as i can lay off the blogs.

we’re moving!
yep! 
i just don’t know when.  or where.  i just know we will be.

our humanitarian aid transfer package was approved!  basically that means that trevor will not have to return to japan, and we will all move -soon- to a base for him to return to work.

he’s been here with us since sept 17th when he flew in literally a couple of hours before samuel’s surgery.  we’ve been blessed to have all this time with him and we’ve loved having him home.  in fact, i’m so used to him being around now that i’m not sure what i’ll do when he returns to a regular work schedule!  but, he’s bored i’m sure, and ready to move forward.  i’m glad that we know he won’t have to leave us again, and i’m anxious to find out when and where we’ll be headed. 
the hope (and probability) is that we’ll be in quantico.  it’s about 90 miles north of where we are now.  still close enough to my family and only about 30 miles from trevor’s parents!
i’m anxious to get back onto a base, and take advantage of all the amenities i’ve been so used to.  (i’m still in sticker shock at the grocery store!  and can’t wait to start shopping at the huge commissary there! )

i’ll keep you up to date.  please start praying for my kids as they will have to transition, once again, to a new way of life.  new schools, new teachers, new house, new church, new friends.  i am confidant that we will be ok, but i am aware of the possible bumps in the road.

exciting stuff!

you guys are doing great! we are close to 50 blankets so far!
we have several different types and colors and patterns.  my mom and i are so excited to be able to give blankets to these kids.  we’d like to have at least 50 for the first delivery in december.  several of you have mentioned you have a few to send in, and that will certainly bring us to 50.

however, we’ll still be collecting! 
remember we want to get to 600 blankets for the full fiscal year.  we still have time, and the hospital is a 48 bed center- so the first 50 should cover the kids that are there at that moment.
if you have any questions or concerns- please let me know.  we literally cannot do it without your help and are so grateful for all of the work, time, money and energy you are pouring into our endeavor.

2boyzmama@gmail.com

**EDIT** joanns fabric is offering 60%off of their fleece this week!  so, if you were thinking of making one, or two, or ten!! then hop on over to get an amazing deal!

your responses have been amazing!  i’m so excited that so many of you are willing to open up your hearts to bless children in need.  and i’m humbled by how many of you have passed on our humble desire to your friends and family.   in a time where every dollar counts more than ever, and more charities are asking for your help, we are so thrilled that you would be willing to help a cause that is so personal to us.

i wanted to share more information to hopefully help you clear up any questions you may have that might prevent you from helping.
so, as formally as i can be, here are the……

FAQ’s

What size blankets are you looking for? the smallest blankets we would like to give are the “throws” that you can find at most targets and walmart type stores.  they are 50×60 and not much larger than a crib blanket.  while the hospital does serve younger children, every child that stays at CCCA sleeps in a twin size bed.

What kinds of blankets are  you looking for?  we would like many different types. soft fleece ones, handmade knitted ones, quilts, comforters, even specialty weighted blankets. (more on that later!)

Where do i send the blankets?  please email me at 2boyzmama@gmail.com and i will send you the address for my mom’s house.  we are having all donations sent to her and i’m not going to be posting her address on the blog. a quick email asking for the address and i’ll shoot one right back at you!

I don’t really feel like shopping for blankets, or making any, but i still want to help.  Is there anything i can do? YES!  there are several ways you can be involved!  one, you can pray for us as we work to gather all the blankets we can.  two, you can pray for the kids who will be blessed by this very tangible gift of love!  additionally, you can contribute financially.  the materials for the patches sewn on, record keeping supplies, gas for deliveries, and other miscellaneous expenses add up quickly for two women who want to bless a large group of people.   you can also send money or giftcards and specify that you would like us to buy the blankets for you.  a good rule of thumb is that ten dollars is the minimum for a pre-made fleece blanket, so if  you sent $25, we would have a tax credit receipt mailed to you for two blankets.
lastly, you can order weighted blankets from http://www.saltoftheearthweightedgear.com  and have them mailed directly to my mom. 
(samuel is a child who responds well to a weighted blanket. it is soothing, comforting and often helps him to calm down and feel safe. many children with autism issues, or sensory struggle receive great benefit from these blankets.   it can be a rather large investment, and many of the families who would benefit from this type of therapeutic item would never be able to afford them.  they are a huge blessing and would be a rare commodity at the hospital. 

How do i get a tax credit? please include a note with your shipment that you’d like a tax receipt.  be sure to include your mailing address, and the receipt will be mailed to you directly from CCCA.

Is there a deadline?  we would like for this endeavor to be ongoing- however- we also would like our first delivery to be before christmas.  in order to get in on that delivery, and ensure a tax receipt (if that is important to you) please mail your items no later than december 7th 2009. 

what will the sewn-on patch say?  we desire to bless these kids and their family; we believe in the power of prayer and each child who will receive a blanket from under cover will be blanketed also in prayer ; however; we would never want to cause any family discomfort- especially when receiving a comforting item!  so, we will only put a portion of the verse from psalm 4:8 and will not include the reference.  the patches will read “i will lie down in peace and sleep”

i’ll close for now- if you have other questions, please post them here as a comment, or email me directly.  i am so honored to have had even a small chunk of your time, and greatly appreciate you sending this to anyone you think might be interested!

stay tuned for more updates!

happy blanket shopping!

so is your interested piqued?

i need your help.
i need you to open your hearts and your time and your wallets if possible-

as you may or may not know- when samuel was in the hospital after his foot injury, he was placed in a children’s hospital that is for psychiatric patients.  it is located in the mountains of VA in staunton and is an incredible place for the kids in our area. 
the hospital is called CCCA (Commonwealth Center for Children and Adolescents) and is a state run hospital.  it is one of only 2 in the state that serves children under the age of 13.  children at this hospital are there for issues ranging the gamut of abuse, autism, ADHD, bipolar, etc.  the nurses, doctors, social workers, and care takers there are incredible people who love their work and do their best to care for these children. 
the problem is that because it’s a state run hospital and the budgets are always getting slashed, they are in constant need of items. 
my mom and i both had the desire to give back to this hospital in some way.  i visited samuel the first day and realized that the blanket he was given was horrid.  as a mother, i was upset that he didn’t have even the basic comforts of home.  we are blessed that i was living less than an hour away and as a stay at home mom, i could visit every day and so i could take him a nice blanket and things from home.
however, many of the kids who are cared for there come from very poor backgrounds, or have parents who live too far to visit regularly, or don’t get to come at all.
my mom and i want to fix that problem. 
we can do something about this. 

we want to give the hospital and it’s children some blankets.

our endeavor has fondly been named : Under Cover.
the blanket that samuel had was scratchy, full of holes, and very old.  it was literally the type of blanket i would use for my dog. 
we want to give enough blankets to the hospital so that each child has their own and is able to take it home.

the number of kids they have serviced each year the last 2 years?  605.  we want 605 blankets. 
i think we can do it.
 
i have already bought 3- and they aren’t expensive.  i just picked up the nice fuzzy fleece ones.  you can donate any kinds- with prints or patterns, quilts, or solids.  there are boys and girls there and the ages are from 4yrs old to 17.  any theme would be used and appreciated!

we are able to give you a tax receipt if you need one- and i will be giving more details over the next couple of days.
please think about giving.  this is a need that is very dear to my heart. we are blessed to have a family with the resources to care for samuel – even at the hospital- but many of the kids that stay there don’t have that option. 
we are planning on sewing a patch on each blanket with the verse from psalm 4:8 – i will lie down in peace and sleep. o Lord, you will give me rest.

think about it as a possible project for your family to do together- gathering blankets or making some
think about how these children with emotional, behavioral and mental struggles are often forgotten and stigmatized. 
think about how praying over these covers and the children they will comfort will bring peace that can impact them forever.

i’ll post an address soon and more info if you need it.
feel free to email me with questions too!

i feel like blogging is something done at the last minute these days rather than something i can’t live without.  i have a feeling that this is just part of the ebb and flow of life and that within days, or weeks or months that i will begin to write more here- i’ve been blogging regularly- and often daily- for more than 5 years now- and so, it’s only natural that i’ve come to a bit of a lull.

i used to be terrified to lose my “readership”.  at one point, my blog was getting more than 1000 hits in a single day.  i have to admit, it felt good to know people were reading the stuff i was writing.  it made me feel important, and so i was driven to write.  i would peruse other blogs and compare myself, and my life, to theirs. i often walked away from my computer feeling lacking in my mothering skills, or writing skills, or friendship skills….. (now i sound like napoleon dynamite. sorry, random i know)
but it drove me further into a writing frenzy- thinking of what i would write next, keeping up with my stats, hoping people were “listening”.  thinking somehow i was important enough for people to want to follow.  hoping more people would start feeling that way and visit me daily through my small internet window.
now?
i really don’t care.
i love writing.  i doubt i’ll ever stop.  but, for now, i’m ok with sporadic postings.  the push, and the drive, and the need to be read by people has fizzled, and i am writing when i need to, when i want to, and when i feel like it.

i’m finding that my life and its twists and turns are keeping my focus, and i’m enjoying it.  i’m very busy, and yet living close to home- days filled with my family and our activities.  and i love it. 
i’m focused more on photography these days–learning more about it, and working on getting better at that skill.

i’ll still write.  i’ll always write. i hope that people i love will still find me here, and enjoy peeking in on my life.  but the need for the “attention” has vaporized, and the freedom for honesty and candor is left sitting like an uncovered gem in the sand.  and i’m enjoying its sheen.

stay tuned though- i have a big announcement and need your help! 
(no, i’m not pregnant, and we’re not moving…….yet.) 
i’ll need your help, hearts and generosity!  more to come by the end of the week….

so, for that fact- i hope you return.

 

The greatest temptation of our time is impatience, in its full, original meaning: refusal to wait, undergo, suffer.” …

~Eugen Rosenstock-Huessy

i find myself so often frustrated at being derailed by life, that i miss it all around me.  it seems that in this season of our lives, my family has shouldered more struggle than we usually deal with and i’m ready to be done.  but i also know, that in the middle of struggle, and pain and stress and frustration can come some of the most beautiful grace– grace that is evident in our faces, our homes, our lives.

i’ve always longed to be a peaceful woman.  one who’s mind and body are at a serene state.  i know that must seem comical to those of you who know me and know how hyper and distracted i can be.  but, truly, the women i most love and admire are those who have lived lives of quiet peace and grace and their demeanors, actions, words and mannerisms bespeak a gentle quiet that saturates their hearts and seeps out of their skin.  by being with them you feel more settled.  more peaceful.  relaxed.  aware.  alive.

rushing, stressing, yelling, cramming, all edge out the lifeblood of humanity- peace.  being distracted by what needs to be done to be able to enjoy what’s coming takes out the enjoyment of what is. i was reminded of this yesterday as my husband and i worked hard to prepare our house for my family to come for dinner.  we spent very little time together as we cleaned bathrooms, vacuumed, mopped, did dish after dish, load after load of laundry, shifted mountains of paper and tried to bring order to the home.  i was glad to have it done- but realized that the day was spent alone.  in work.  without connection, or life or much enjoyment.  we were so busy preparing for what was to come, that we missed what was.  a cool fall day with our babies.  a day he had off of work to be home with me.  time to be together.

there is merit in work.  work has to be done.  it too shapes us and molds us.  but i often sit in the work part and fail to sit in the calm.  afraid that i’m not doing enough, or being enough or somehow giving enough to everyone–family and friends included.

the irony in this is that in my work, in my desperate chase to arrive at that place of peace- to have ‘all my ducks in a row’, to be prepared with an orginized home, obedient children, clean laundry, (this list could go on forever) that i have so sinfully missed the peace that sits right with me.  and in not embracing it, or seeking it, or sitting with it, i have set the atmosphere for peace-less-ness in my entire family.

not exactly the profile of the woman i desire to be.

so today i start- with breathing in.  aware of the breath that fills my lungs and gives me life.  full deep breaths.  a small entry in my journal.  cookies made for my babies.  dinner with my family again tonight.  and let the chaff fall by the wayside.  prepared to see the moments of my day as opportunities for grace.  and peace.

tomorrow we’re headed back to quantico.  we have several appointments and will be tying up the last loose ends for our humt. aid transfer.
i’m excited.
not looking forward to the drive- ivy is sick again, and isn’t a big fan of being in her carseat.  she’s a mover and a shaker and the long trip being strapped down is annoying to her, but we’ll make it. the two of us can conquer.

i’m excited but can’t believe that the package is going to be submitted this week.  i’m anxious to see how long it will take to be processed and how quickly we’ll be on our way.  life is funny sometimes isn’t it?

i did an engagement shoot this weekend in dc.  it was a lot of fun and we got some sweet pics.  the cupcake is from georgetown cupcakes and is a red velvet cake that has been a part of their story.    i got a vanilla chocolate and it was yuuummy!  the other shots were taken around g’town inside of dc.  there were so many neat nooks and crannies to shoot in that i could’ve stayed all day.  these are a few that i liked….